Skinny Jeans: A Rant

A disclaimer: If you are a person of a physically bigger nature, and you wear, or are contemplating wearing, skinny jeans, you should turn away from this post immediately. As in, now. Seriously. I make no apologies for what I'm about to say. None.

Consider yourself warned.

I've recently lost thirty pounds. Now, while this was no small feat, it is merely a fraction of the total weight I want, neigh, need, to lose. Thirty percent, to be precise. Yes, that's right, I want to lose one hundred pounds. But, I digress; more on this later, or elsewhere on this blog.

Having lost this weight, I found myself in need of a few new things. Specifically, jeans, as mine were getting absurdly baggy, and subsequently, too long for even my tallest heels. No "pants on the ground" for me!

As I embarked upon my shopping adventure, I wondered what kind of jeans did I want? I contemplated the many choices available: relaxed fit, straight leg, boot cut, wide leg, skinny jeans. Wait, what? Skinny jeans?!

Now, I will reveal something about myself, something I am not particularly proud of, but alas, it is what it is and I am working to change it:

This contemplating of mine was going on in the Women's department of Macy's, as I eyed a pair of straight leg Levi's that were two sizes smaller than the last pair of jeans I bought. Levi's that were folded neatly alongside a variety of other jean styles, the dreaded skinny jeans among them.

Yes, Women's department (read: Plus sized department).

Yes, two sizes smaller. I was, am, a big girl. I have curves. Lots of them. More than my fair share, and not in a good way.

There, I've said it. And though I've lost thirty pounds, and am quite proud of this accomplishment, I am no longer in denial and know I have a lot of work ahead of me yet.

I tell you this, my face burning with embarrassment, because it sets the backdrop for what I'm going to say next.

Skinny jeans have no business in the Women's department! None. Zero.
Ladies, if you are shopping in the Plus size department, also known as the more politically correct 'Women's" department, you have absolutely NO business wearing something called a "skinny jean!" I mean, come on... skinny jeans in the Women's department is the epitome of an oxymoron! Completely contradictory terms here!

Who's the merchandising genius that decided on PLUS sized SKINNY jeans?! If I find you, you're in trouble. Big trouble. (Pun intended.)

If you are truly compelled to wear something more form fitting, might I suggest a lovely straight leg jean? A legging perhaps, with a long tunic? Ok. Maybe not leggings. But that's another topic for another day.

I walked away from buying new jeans because I refuse to buy even one more piece of "Women's" sized clothing. I'm done.

And I'll hold off on getting a "skinny" jean until I'm out of double digit sizes. Skinny, in my world, is not a double digit number, unless it's "00", and come on, that's just WAY too thin, nor will I ever be that small!

I am not angry about the "plus sized skinny jeans" madness. If anything, it simply bolsters my determination to one day get into a truly skinny jean.

Oh, and one last thing. Without apology. If you are a Plus size woman, and you have skinny jeans and love how you look in them, I tip my hat to you. There are few things more attractive than a woman with the hard core self confidence needed to pull off a look like that!

After all, it's not about what's on the outside, right?

Here's to a healthy self-image!

P.S. Two weeks after I walked away from the Macy's Women's department, I walked into a regular old Gap. And I tried on a pair of non-Plus sized, straight legged, Gap jeans. And they fit! Not quite a skinny jean, but it's progress, and progress is good!

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