Something New

Can we talk? I mean, can we talk?!

I hate sweating. And when I say hate, I mean detest. Loathe. Sucks to be me, since living in Texas means you can plan to be sweaty at least seven to eight months out of the year. And if you actually want to be outside? Well, let's just say there will be times when you'll actually think you're melting.

Today, because I was being plagued by the mean crazies, again, I had to get over my hate and get outside, as the only thing that ever helps with the mean crazies is running. And not treadmill running in some stinky, stuffy gym. Oh good grief no.

What I needed was wide open space. The sky above me, the crazy hot road beneath my feet. The smell of honeysuckle, fresh cut grass, and someone grilling steaks. The sound of dogs barking and kids playing. The sun beating down on my face and shoulders. The heat crashing into my lungs like liquid fire with every breath. These are the things that help clear my head and spirit.

As my breathing started to follow the rhythmic pattern of my footfalls, and the sweat poured down my face, I was struck by something new. For the first time I can ever recall, I didn't mind the sweat. I almost welcomed it, feeling as if my own personal demons were being cleansed out of me along with the other toxins sweat clears out. There was something purifying happening, and it was overdue and so very welcome.

I almost didn't run today as a result of the mean crazies. Instead, I grit my teeth, gathered my will and determination, laced up my shoes, popped in some tunes and hit the road. I'm glad I did. Turns out I'm a slightly more clear headed person for it. I'm sure those around me are grateful.

Here's to a hot, sweaty run!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

A Mother's Strength

Those who know me know I've always wanted to be a mom. I love kids and have imagined my life as a mother for more years than I can remember. Despite my deep desire to experience motherhood however, God has had other plans for me, and so far, these don't involve kids. At least not kids of my own. And every day I come a little closer to accepting that. After all, who am I to question God's will?

The thing of it is, in my dreams of being a mom, I always imagined the fun, rewarding part of motherhood. Never once did I stop to think of the challenges, sacrifices, the sleepless nights, the worrying, the helplessness when a child is sick or hurt. My version of motherhood involved only happy, butterfly kisses, chubby little arms thrown around my neck and a tiny voice saying, "I wub you mommy!", and sunny smiles. My teenage kids in this fantasy land? Well, they consider me and Kevin (my husband) their best friends! Hey, it's my fantasy, however unrealistic it may be.

But every now and then, I am reminded that my imaginings are just that. One never knows what you may be faced with as a parent, and no amount of imagining, or reading, or watching other parents, will ever prepare you for what motherhood really is.

The moms I know are strong. They are selfless women. They are the women I want on my side if we are attacked by zombies. They are not perfect, but they will strive tirelessly and unrelentingly to achieve some level of perfection when it comes to their children. They will sacrifice themselves if it means health and happiness for their kids. They know no bounds of love, and they have my complete admiration. When I look around at the moms in my life, I am reminded of the work that motherhood is, and I am humbled by the grace, patience and untiring love these woman exhibit, even when things get rough.

I am writing this because I want to give a shout out to all the moms in my life; friends and family alike. You ladies are amazing and you are deeply admired and respected. And to that one woman who is facing an especially challenging situation, and you know who you are, to you I say, "God is with you. Your children are lucky to have you. You are a rock, a light, a safe place for your children and husband. You are amazing! Hold fast to God's promise to be with you always, and know that He has a plan, and His plan is good because He is good." And to the rest of you wonderful ladies, hats off to you. The gift card companies got it wrong. Mother's Day should be every day.

Here's to my mom and all the other moms in my life - you ladies ROCK!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

A Cure All

Welcome to Texas summer, where an early June day will greet you with 92 degree temperatures and 55% humidity, and it only gets hotter and steamier from here.

Today, because I had a head full of the crazies, I decided it was time to get back to running. Yes, in the aforementioned heat and humidity. Yes, I'm a little crazy. Okay, a lot. But that's really beside the point, don't you think?

But I digress. My craziness is not the point of the post, at least not this post.

With my shoes laced up, my running tunes queued and ready to play, I headed out, jaw set, chin high, and ready to run into the sunset. As my feet hit the pavement, I could hear the crazies in my head shouting for my attention, a mad, swirling mob doing its best to distract me. With every step I tried to drown out the insanity. And would you believe? The longer and harder I ran, the easier it became to eradicate the lunacy lurking in the cobwebbed corners of my mind. Until the sun and humidity made me feel as if I was sucking down massive quantities of watery air with each painful breath. And after another quarter mile? Focus was fixated on breathing and making sure my knees and ankles didn't give out on me, or I didn't re-injure my feet and wind up with plantar fasciitis again, or my brain didn't completely melt in the crazy heat.

I may not have completely eliminated the crazies that like to camp out in my mind but I've at least stomped them into submission long enough to get me sanely to the next run. And I'm convinced that running, or walking, or cycling, or any other form of exercise in the sweltering outdoors of a Texas summer will cure just about anything life can throw my way.

Here's to the all natural, and completely legal, endorphin high!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The Need for Normal

Ever exam just how much energy we expend in an effort to appear normal? We work so hard at trying to fit in, molding ourselves to whatever society calls normal, which of course is also ever changing. It's exhausting, don't you think?

It feels, more and more, like normal is often defined, in large part, by one's ability to keep up with the Joneses. Not just from a materialistic, do-you-have-the-newest-of-everything perspective, but also from appearances, from family life, from the job you have, the friends you keep. Even the church you attend. We spend so much time looking to the sides to see what everyone else has or is doing that we forget to look at ourselves, to recognize within ourselves the incredible person God created us to be.

I've struggled with self image issues my whole life. Self esteem? At times, non-existent. Self identity? Often looked in the mirror and realized I had no clue who the person looking back at me was. All this, of course, because I was so busy trying to use society's yardstick for measuring who I was.

It's much easier to just be me, the flawed but loving woman God intended me to be. Rather than strive to fit in to society's standard of normal, I'm going to be abnormal and pray for God's acceptance. After all, He promises to love me no matter what. Can society do that? I doubt it.

So here's what I say: let your freak flag fly! Be who you are, even if it contradicts who society is telling you to be. It's considerably easier and way more fun! (Even as I write that, it looks weird!)

Here's to the real you (and me)!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I'm BAAACK. Well, Sort Of.

Sorry I haven't been around much lately. It's been a busy few weeks and this last week I had a lovely (NOT) bout of food poisoning. Nasty stuff, I gotta tell you. Between the stomach cramps and the clammy fever, I was ready for someone, anyone to put me out of my misery.

In the midst of the crazy weeks and delusional sleep induced by illness, I've come up with some new blog topics that I hope to cover here in the upcoming weeks, so please, stay tuned!

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