Guilt and Movitation

I declared today pajama day at my house. This meant we were going to hang out in our PJs all day, effectively making it a lazy Sunday. I had no intentions of working out today, and was completely okay with that.


Then the dog started getting stir crazy. She hadn't been out for a walk or run in at least four days, and she was restless. I tried to ignore it as I lacked all motivation to go work out. I really didn't want to ruin PJ day by putting on my running gear and taking her out for a much needed run (ok, the much needed part is probably more for me than her!)

Finally, knowing I'd been eating junk all weekend and had skipped at least two much needed workouts, I finally dragged myself off the couch and out onto the street, no longer in my jammies and with the dog raring to go. I lacked all motivation for this run, but did it anyway, mostly to appease our sweet girl, Bristol.

As we burned one, then two miles on our excursion, I reflected over how much I had dreaded this run, and on how good it actually felt to be running. I realized that, while I may often lack the motivation to get up off my duff and workout, I never regret it when I do. Yet, inevitably, every time I'm a lazy bum and skip my workouts, I always feel guilty!

I suspect one day I'll actually like working out. For now, I'll just keep reminding myself that the lack of motivation is not worth the guilt that always comes later. And so, I'll keep dragging myself out for a run with Miss Bris, even when I really don't feel like it. Even if it's PJ Day.

Here's to good health!

A First Time for Everything

Yesterday, I ran in my first 5K. Ran the whole way. Set a new personal best for distance (3.15 miles) and pace (14:41, per official race results). And this, just two weeks after I started running.

Okay. Running would barely describe what I do; it's more of a light jog, really. Okay. More of a quick, walking, shuffle. Whatever. For the sake of simplicity, I will call it running.

I should tell you, I really surprised myself yesterday. I never would have believed that I could actually sustain a run for a block, much less just over 3 miles. And that I would like it. No, love it. I had a blast yesterday. It felt great to set that goal, work for it, and actually complete it. And at a better pace than my training runs. 

I was recalling a conversation I recently had with a friend. I was telling her that I didn't think I'd ever be able to run for fear of damaging my knees, as I was carrying considerably more weight on my body than I should. 

I've shed some of the weight. Not as much as I'd like, but that is still a work in progress.

And, I can run. I proved it yesterday. And my knees are okay. Better than okay, really. I can feel the change in my body. It's getting healthier, stronger.

I never would have dreamed it possible. But it is.

Guess there really is a first time for everything.

Here's to good health!

What's Different Now

Those of you who've been following my blog since the beginning, or have read older posts, know that I've tried before to lose weight and get fit. Tried and failed, and tried again. And failed again. And again and again. Those of you that have seen me recently have seen the progress, the success, this time. Some of you have read about it. And all of you are asking, "What's different now? What's different this time? What caused the change?"

I've considered these questions often. In fact, almost daily. Reality is, I don't know. Honestly. It's not like I planned this, unlike other times. ;-)

No, this time, it came out of the blue. One day I just stopped eating bad things. I reduced my carb intake in order to get my blood sugar levels under control. Once I did that, I had complete control over my appetite; cravings were eliminated and portion control became quite easy as I was never really hungry. I immediately noticed results, losing maybe 5 pounds that first week. Few things motivate me better than seeing results and when it comes to losing weight, well, let's just say that this changed the "game" completely. I wanted more results, and I wanted them to last.

Once the binge eating was eliminated and I was eating healthy meals and smaller portions, I knew that in order to see the results I wanted, to change my body, I'd have to do much more than just eat right. I had to start exercising. So I did.

I'll get into the workout transformation in another post. This post is about what's different about this time. While I may not know the answer to that, I do know this:

I was tired of not liking myself because of how I looked.

I was tired of being uncomfortable in my own skin.

I was tired of being embarrassed to be seen in public.

I was tired of never wanting to socialize with friends because of my appearance.

I was tired of being "the pretty, fat girl."

I want to be fit.

I want to look in a mirror and LOVE who I see, inside AND out.

I want to be fit enough to run around with my nieces and nephews and not be winded in the first 30 seconds.

I want to cycle a century.

I want to run a marathon.

I want to run, cycle and swim in a triathlon.

And finally, I want to live a long, healthy life with my husband by my side, doing God's work, whatever that looks like.

I guess that's what's different. I WANT THIS. More than anything I can think of. And this time, I'm willing to work for it.

That's really all there is to it. It's not rocket science or anything. It's just me wanting something and being willing to work for it. Pretty simple, really.

Here's to good health!

Now I'm Running

I should probably tell you that I really don't like working out. Never have and never dreamed I would. But lately, something's come over me. I can't explain it. I can only tell you that I find myself pushing my body to new limits, setting crazy goals and actually meeting them!

It started with cycling. I set a goal for riding 47 miles and accomplished it. It wasn't a race, but rather, for me, more about just finishing. And I'm not finished, either. I have set a goal to ride a century ride in 2010. That's 100 miles. All at once, in one ride. Crazy, right?

Crazier still is that now I've taken up running. I've always wanted to be a runner, you know, one of those lithe, graceful folk that look like they float over the road. But every time I tried to run my knees would scream in agony. Not surprising considering the ridiculous amount of weight I was carrying. Yet here I am, 25 pounds lighter and this past Saturday, I woke up and decided it was time to start running.

I know you have to start slow when you run, or you could seriously injure yourself. So I only ran a quarter of a mile, with my sweet boxer Bristol alongside of me. Crazy dog loved it. Crazy girl loved it more.

Sunday, I pushed myself a bit harder and ran a full mile. Ran the whole way, too. Not too bad. Most surprising was the fact that when I was done, I felt great and nothing hurt.

Today, my husband and our goofy dog, Bristol, joined me. Today, I ran 1.32 miles in 23 minutes. Okay, not a record breaking time or anything, I'll give you that. But I RAN the whole way.

I have another goal. I'm running a 5K next week. Yes, next week. I have 10 days to train. 5K. That's 3.12 miles. three times what I'm running now. I'm not ambitious. Nope, not me.

What can I say? I love running. And cycling. Soon I'll add swimming. And maybe, just maybe, I'll surprise myself yet again.

Here's to good health!

Can't Think of a Thing

The problem with blogging is that I often can't think of a thing to write about. Or, the contrary occurs and I have so many things I want to write about that they all kind of collide together into this mushy, sloppy, incoherent mess. And it's really worse than it sounds.

When that happens, I find myself wondering how awesome bloggers like The Pioneer Woman keep their sites hip and fresh (aside from simply being writers with actual talent, that is.) Do the have an outline of ideas and topics? I need tips, suggestions, something!

Seriously, though, today I am at a loss for anything of interest (clearly I am assuming anything I write is of interest to anyone other than myself) to write about. So instead of boring you to tears with my mindless dribble, I will merely wish you a happy week.

Happy week and here's to good health!

Stress + Speculation = Distractions!

Last week we learned that our company would, for the third time in 12 months, be downsizing. While this is normal for our country these days, you must understand that presently, our company has about 41 employees. To downsize yet again means reducing our workforce to roughly half what we have now.

I can't decide what's worse, knowing we're downsizing, that the senior leadership team asked for volunteers to separate from the company, or the uncertainty of what happens next.

I do know that this week, so far, has been filled with a lot of stress and some serious speculating. This effectively results in a whole lot of distractions. There is so much work to do, yet I would bet maybe half of it is getting done.

Is it better to know what's coming, or is not knowing the right thing?

Life is an uncertainty; maybe our real job is to just try and make the most of each day we are given, starting with the present one. After all, no matter how much we worry, stress, or speculate, we can't change tomorrow before tomorrow even gets here, right?

~Matthew 6:34