A Boy, a Girl, and a Ring

This past Friday, October 29th, my husband and I celebrated our five year wedding anniversary. Five years of marital bliss, which, for those who don't know, consists of the following:

• Copious amounts of laughing; belly laughs and laughing so hard you cry are usually the best
• Some bickering
• Lots of hugs
• Daily kisses, and every now and then, making out like a pair of teenagers
• The occasional knock down, drag out (just keepin' it real, folks)
• Knowing when to say you're sorry (see above!)
• Praying together, and for one another
• Waking up daily willing to bring your best game to the marriage
• Lots and lots of love

With this being the five year milestone, I wanted to do something really special for my husband, however as I had to work the entire weekend, plans of a short, romantic getaway had to be put on hold. Nonetheless, I wanted to mark the occasion and give him a gift that was meaningful, yet original, and of course it had to fall within the traditional anniversary gifts, which, for five years, is wood.

An aside: Did you know that every year has a traditional gift associated with it? Yeah, it's not just the big ones, 25-silver, 50-gold, 75-diamond. Nope, each year has one. Five is wood. If you're interested in what some of the other "years" are, click here. It's a pretty interesting list!

After considering several "wood" options and not finding one meaningful enough, it dawned on me one evening while I chatted with my mother-in-law; I already had his gift!

A few months ago, while vacationing in Wisconsin, I shot some photographs of an old, commercial fishing tug [boat] that my husband worked on in his teens. I remember him speaking of that boat, the Avis J, with deep affection, not so much for the boat, I'm sure, but more for that time in his life. It was a tough time, to be sure, but working on the Avis J made him feel a part of something special, and I know it helped shape the man he would later become, the man I married, the man I'm still madly in love with. Yes, the Avis J was the perfect gift. I had it enlarged and framed, and yes, it fit the traditional wood gift. It was a wood boat and the frame was wood. Perfect, right?

When I gave it to him that morning before heading into the office, I knew by his reaction that it was the perfect gift. I was so pleased that I'd not only given him something that reminded him of his past and how far he's come, but something that completely surprised him. I went off to work on a cloud.

That afternoon, dismissed early in preparation for the long weekend of work ahead, I went home to unwind, rest and have a mini celebration with my husband. When I got home, the hubs wasn't home yet, so I relaxed for a bit and reflected on the last five years and remembered the beautiful day I married my best friend. 

A few hours later, my amazing husband came home, bearing gifts. He walked through the door carrying a gorgeous floral bouquet. He gave it to me with a sly grin, then went back out to his truck, muttering something about "there's more." Seconds later, he reappeared with a little black velvet box in his hands. Suddenly I had butterflies in my stomach. I knew what that box held, and was cringing at how much he'd probably spent. With a gleeful smile, he said, "happy anniversary, my love" and opened the box. Before me, nestled among the black velvet, was a new diamond wedding ring. This man had upgraded my wedding ring. And it was beautiful!

Sadly, I robbed my husband of the reaction he was expecting from me. Caught up in the thoughts of how much he'd spent, and to be honest, that the diamond wasn't the shape I would have selected for myself, I quietly whispered, "oh my, you shouldn't have" as I watched his face fall in disappointment.

He asked if it was the cost or the ring that I had issue with, and made clear that the cost was something I need not worry about. He offered to exchange the ring. And to be honest, I considered it. (I know, I know, I'm a total brat!)

But I didn't return or exchange the ring. He put it on my finger, and it dawned on me: if this had been the ring he'd proposed to me with five years ago that day, I would have been over the moon! This was the ring he wanted me to have. It was yet another reflection of how far he, we, have come, that he was able to do this for me.

Today, almost a week later, I look down at my hand and see that huge rock glinting in the low light and I can't help but smile. After all, I am one very lucky girl!

Here's to unexpected gifts and my awesome husband!

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Mobile Blogging: The Truth Hurts

Yesterday, my husband said something to me that cut to the quick. He
didn't say it to be hurtful or mean, and it was prompted mostly from
his exhaustion (he's been working a lot lately), but I know he was
speaking the truth.

My initial reaction was to go on the defensive, to start making
excuses in an effort to justify or rationalize away what he said. I
was ready to dismiss his words as merely a product of his frustration
and tiredness. I felt myself start to get angry, and resentment was
quick to rise.

Then I took a deep breath and a step back. I pushed away the
frustration and tried to look objectively at the situation. Why had
his words hurt so much? Was it the delivery, or that his words rang
with truth, a truth I already knew and was in denial of accepting,
thereby striking a deeper chord?

I'm sure it was the latter. Being confronted with the truth is never
fun. But being confronted with a truth you already know, subsequently
being made to realize you're not fooling anyone, is particularly hard.
And when all of this is delivered by the one you love most... Well
let's just say, the truth hurts.

Nonetheless, I am grateful for my husband's words (though his delivery
could use a bit of polishing.) After all, if he can't speak the truth
to me, who can?!

Here's to brutal honesty.

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Observations from Married Life

I have never been one to watch the news. Prior to being married, I lived in a bubble, a bubble where the morning, evening, or nightly news simply did not exist. Neither did televised sporting events. Sure, I might have gone to a SuperBowl party here and there, but honestly I was in it for the commercials. And the food, of course.

As luck would have it, I married a man who is a news and sports junkie. He can watch CNN for hours. And he loves watching almost any televised sporting event. I've even caught him watching bowling tournaments!

When we first got married, his constant news watching really grated on my nerves. Seriously. But after a time, the news became white noise. And then, much to my surprise, and not infrequently to my chagrin, I actually started wanting to watch the news.

Same with the sports. Now granted, I won't voluntarily watch a bowling tournament. Don't ever expect that to change, either, but one never knows. Football, however, I've actually learned to love. So much so that during the AFC Championship game this year, he keep flipping the channels during the game. I finally had to tell him to put the game on and leave it on, as I wanted to watch it. HA! Even as I type that, I can't help but wonder, "who are you?!"

Some might think I'm trying to change myself to accomodate who my husband is. And maybe I am, to some degree. I, however, prefer to call it evolution. After all, don't we all grow, change, evolve over time? And if my husband and I evolve together, won't that ultimately make us a stronger couple?

Here's to healthy evolution!