30 Days of Thanks: Day 4

There is so much I am thankful for that these posts are actually a lot harder than you might think. How do I pick one thing? God has blessed my life so abundantly that there is always something to be grateful or thankful for. But blessings don't always seem blessings when first we receive them. And it is about that I will write about today.

I am thankful for the challenges God allows me to put before myself daily. They are often so much harder and sometimes more painful than I think I can bear, but inevitably they serve as a reminder that I am never alone, that I need not fear, and that, in Christ, I can do all things.

It was the broken road that led me to my husband. It is the hard and painful experiences that bring me closer to God. It is the hardships that make me appreciate the blessings. And for that, I am thankful, every day.

Here's to being the clay in the Potter's Hands!

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30 Days of Thanks: Day 3

Today I am grateful for love. Not so much the feeling, as this can be fleeting. But love, as an action, is a true gift.

It is often what motivates me to keep fighting in the face of adversity. Love of knowledge pushes me to keep learning. The love of family drives me to become a better person. The love of friends teaches me selflessness. My husband's love strengthens me. And the love of a forgiving and gracious God humbles me and reminds me that, when love is an action, it is ever-growing, ever-changing and always, absolutely always, is worth fighting for.

Here's to loving life, on life's terms!

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30 Days of Thanks: Days 1 and 2

This year it seems the big thing on the social networking sites is to note, daily and for the month of November, what one is thankful for. I love this idea! Granted, I have things to be grateful and thankful for every day of the year, but taking a month to share some of these things with friends, to declare to my tiny universe what I is meaningful to me, well, what's not to love?

Without further ado...

Day 1 - My Family
I am always grateful for my family - but as I get a little older, I have come to appreciate them in ways I never thought possible. My mom's strength and patience. My dad's unconditional love. My brother's support. My husband's love and ability to make me laugh. All of my in-laws, for accepting me as a part of their own family. When it comes right down to it, no matter how amazing my life is, or isn't, it is my family that I want to share the good and bad times with.

Day 2 - The Insanity of not One, but TWO jobs
In an economy when people are being forced to make career changes they wouldn't otherwise make, or are having a hard time finding work in the first place, I am deeply grateful that I have two jobs. Though I often complain about all the work I have, I am actually grateful that I have this to complain about, for I know the alternative would be much worse.

I've learned not to take God's gifts for granted, and even more importantly, to understand that everything that comes from God is a gift, though it may not always feel that way. Being overworked has been good for me, so long as I remember to balance it with a dose of quiet time for Him, for me, and for my small family.

Here's to an awesome Thanksgiving month!

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The Yoga Challenge - Day 1

I suck at committing to exercising. Frankly, it's because I hate to sweat. And let's be honest, I'm a bit lazy. I work crazy hours all the time and when I'm done working, all I really want to do is veg in front of the TV or read a book. So yeah, exercise? Despite how desperately I need it, it's not at the top of my priority list. Lately however, my stress levels have been hitting all time highs, and it's starting to take a noticeable toll on my body. My neck and shoulder muscles are so tight I can barely move. Even in my sleep, I'm tense. I bite down so hard when I sleep I can barely open my mouth when I awaken. The pillow winds up jammed against the headboard as my shoulders tense and shoot up around my ears. My breathing is crazy shallow and I know my body is in serious need of some oxygen and oxygen rich blood. I tried massage and seeing a chiropractor. While both helped, they provided minimal relief and the reprieve was fleeting. I knew the time for finding a long term solution to my high stress levels and the resulting physical tension was fast approaching.

I'd long and oft heard the benefits of yoga, specifically Bikram yoga, a yoga that is practiced in a room that is heated to a mild 105 degrees Fahrenheit. I knew that this was an exercise that would likely relieve most of my physical symptoms, and very likely, would help me learn to manage the mental stress as well. Knowing this, however, and actually getting myself to a class, as anyone who knows me will tell you, are two things that are completely worlds apart. After much contemplation, and telling myself I was going to at least try a class and check out what it was all about, I finally tucked my lovely new squishy yoga mat and towel under my arm and dragged myself to class. All the way there, I thought to myself, "Are you nuts?? It's gonna be so HOT! You're not going to be able to breathe, much less move! And you're gonna be so sweaty and gross!! Turn around. Go home! You don't really want to do this!!" This inner monologue lasted right up until I walked to the front door of the yoga studio. 

Upon entering the studio, I was greeted by two incredibly friendly women who gave me some basic info and instructions for surviving my first practice. I nodded and grinned stupidly at their messages, as I could already feel the dry heat emanating from the hot yoga room. I slowly made my way back to the dressing rooms, put my stuff away, took a long pull on my water bottle, and walked curiously into the yoga room.

First thoughts? Man, it was HOT! Luckily, I'd just come in from outside where it was somewhat chilly, so for the first few minutes, the dry heat actually felt quite nice. I found a not too crowded spot on the floor to lay out my mat and proceeded to quietly lie in the dim room and collect my thoughts. I tried to focus on breathing deeply and acclimating to the heat. After about 5 minutes, I could feel the heat really start to penetrate my muscles, my breathing became deeper and I actually started to relax a little. Once the practice started, I surprised myself by being able to do many of the poses and actually hold them for the necessary length of time. I definitely had to remind myself to breathe several times, but overall, the beginning of the class was not near as bad as I'd expected.

Half way through the class, we switched from standing poses, or asanas, to floor poses. It was at about that time that the heat hit me, and not in a good way. The combination of heat, deep breathing, and somewhat aerobic first half of the practice had me feeling short of breath and light headed. I know most of that was just a testament to how out of shape I am, but I also knew enough to take the second half of the class a little easier. I tried many of the poses, but the heater air was getting harder to breathe, feeling heavier and thicker which each breath. I started wondering how much longer the class would last, and at one point, the desire to walk out of the class to get some fresh air was overwhelming. Thankfully, I successfully talked myself back from the ledge and finished the class. I still tried each of the poses toward the end of class, however the attempts were much less concentrated than those in the first half of the class, as at this point it was taking all I head just to keep breathing and not pass out.

Finally, the instructor said the magic word that released me from what felt like hell. "Namaste!"

I slowly stood up and collected my now soaked towel and mat. I carefully walked to the door, feeling light headed and a bit dizzy. Then the door opened and what felt like an icy blast hit my whole, sweaty body. I suddenly felt wide awake and ridiculously elated! I'd done it. I'd managed to stay in the hot room for the whole class!

As I headed home, a sense of bliss enveloped me. I felt good. My body felt good. My head was clear. I could breathe! When I arrived home, my husband asked if I'd managed to stay in the hot room the full time. When I replied, triumphantly, that I had, he got up to give me a hug, and as his arms wrapped around me, I felt myself overwhelmed with a crazy assortment of emotions. I didn't know if I should laugh or cry, so a weird blend of both came tumbling out of me. I thought surely I'd fried my brain in that crazy heat, but then I remembered having read something about high emotions being released during or after a practice. I chalked up the emotional overload to my first yoga class.

In the twenty four hours since my first class, here are the observations I've made:

•  I slept long and hard, and it was a very deep, dreamless, very restful sleep
•  I feel more energized - I am able to focus my mind more easily
•  I am breathing deeper in a resting state
•  My appetite is wildly under control; I've not been binge snacking and portions are very small
•  I can't seem to drink enough water
•  I am not as worried about things outside of my control
•  I am insanely excited about my next yoga class!

I must go get ready for my next class! But I will keep you posted on my progress and observations, so please come back soon!

Here's to relaxing!

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Another Hunger Games [movie] Review

Last year I read Suzanne Collins' Hunger Games trilogy. Devoured it, really, in something like three days. Was ecstatic when I heard the movie would be out this year. Avoided the opening weekend crowds and finally went to see the much anticipated movie, based on the first book, on Tuesday evening.

No doubt several gazillion reviews have already been posted. Most of them probably by people much more qualified than I. Nonetheless, here's my two cent review of the movie. Those of you who've not read the book or seen the movie, be warned; this review may or may not contain some spoilers.

I should preface my review by saying that in preparation for the movie, I re-read the trilogy. In about three days time. Three days prior to seeing the movie, to be specific. Thus, by the time I got to the movie theater, not only was the first book fresh on my mind, but so was the entire story, thereby giving me probably more information than I really needed for the viewing of the first movie, The Hunger Games. That being said, here are my observations, thoughts, and feelings about the movie.

Cinematography
Prior to seeing the movie I read an article that indicated the editing of the Hunger Games was very choppy, leaving the viewer feeling a bit disjointed. I concur wholeheartedly with the article's author. The editing was extremely fast paced, leaving you with some sense of urgency but without motivation for the urgency. The killing scenes were cut extremely short and reduced to considerably less than the horrific scenes they were in the book. I recognize this was likely done to reduce the maturity rating on the movie, as well as to spare the viewer the agony and horror of watching children being butchered to death by other children. And for that, I am grateful. Nonetheless, the overall editing seemed to also cut short the development of various characters and relationships, thereby leaving me wanting. I suspect that as a result of the editing and lack of character development, thee were times when the movie felt slow, almost boring, tedious even. Which is at complete odds with the book as there was never a feeling of slowness. Even the historical references kept up with the pace and rhythm of the book. The movie, not so much.

Story Adaptation
The screenwriters definitely did a noteworthy job of translating Collins' work to the silver screen. While some scenes I loved from the book were left out, the story held together nicely without them. Viewers who hadn't read the book were probably able to follow along without issue, and I would suspect many of them are now putting the book on their to-do lists.

Casting
Katniss Everdeen -- Jennifer Lawrence
I must admit, when I first saw the cast for The Hunger Games, I was disappointed. I was hoping to see Dakota Fanning cast as Katniss, but them I am biased as I think Ms. Fanning is incredibly talented. However, Jennifer Lawrence certainly held her own as the rebellion invoking Katniss Everdeen. Her acting was polished, though there were a few things that bugged me. I suspect these pertained more to character development than Ms. Lawrence's performance.

In my imagination, Katniss was very rough around the edges and conflicted, even before she entered the Arena. With Lawrence's portrayal, I had a difficult time seeing her as rough in any capacity. She came across as polished and collected throughout the entire movie. Even the scene where she is being transported via the tube to the Arena, you barely notice her distress or fear. Instead, you are given this nearly blank stare that doesn't begin to convey what Collins' describes is happening to Katniss at that time. I will counter that in all fairness, the author was able to describe Katniss' thoughts during that time and one thing that remains consistent throughout the book is that Katniss was determined never to let her fear show, while in the movie we only have her facial expressions and body language to tell us what might be going through her mind. Still, I never got the impression she was fighting to hide her fear, but rather was unsure of how to convey any feelings at any given time. Again, I chalk this up more to character development than I do Ms. Lawrence's acting abilities.

Peeta Mellark -- Josh Hutcherson
Ok, seriously? Mr. Hutcherson is an attractive young man and all, but Peeta Mellark he is not. At no point in the movie do I ever connect with him as the "boy with the bread." Unfortunately, as I cannot think of who I would rather see in this role, I'll leave this one alone. Suffice it to say that I was completely dissatisfied with this man's performance. Or maybe, as with Katniss, my disappointment is more with character development.

Gale Hawthorne -- Liam Hemsworth
While Mr. Hemsworth was certainly more suited to play Gale than Mr. Hutcherson was to play Peeta, I was still not thrilled with this performance. Hemsworth, though he had little screen time and his role was minimal in this first movie, failed to portray any of the passion of Gale, whether it be his feelings for Katniss, at which the first book only hints of, or his deep dislike of the Capitol, for which you get a better sense of in the book. Regardless, the performance felt shallow. Or maybe it was just the character development. Again.

Do you see a theme emerging here?
Perhaps I should skip the casting and move right on to Character Development. Yes? No. Not just yet.

President Snow -- Donald Sutherland
I think Mr. Sutherland will likely develop into a great President Snow. His role in this first movie was insufficient for me to truly gauge how I feel about him as Snow. Particularly since I read all three books just days prior to seeing the movie [finished the third book the night before]. And I really do think that for some reason the freshness of the entire trilogy is skewing my perception of some of these performances. So I'll leave this one alone. For now. But know this: I have VERY HIGH expectations of Mr. Sutherland. Particularly for the movie(s) covering the third book, Mockingjay.

Effie Trinket -- Elizabeth Banks
Having never been a fan of Elizabeth Banks, I think she played Effie Trinket to near perfection. She was appropriately annoying and correspondingly self indulgent. More concerned about the niceties and the Tributes' manners, she was a fairly decent depiction of what I expected for someone from the Capitol. My biggest beef here was that in my head, Effie Trinket was somewhat heavyset. I think I'd have liked Ms Banks' performance better if she'd put on a few pounds for the role. But hey, that's just me. And what do I know?

Haymitch Abernathy -- Woody Harrelson
Hm. This one is tough. Mostly because I know that my feelings regarding this role are about character development. Assuming Mr. Harrelson was directed to deliver the Haymitch we got in The Hunger Games, I can not hold him at fault. If, however, this was his interpretation of the drunk, bullish mentor, then I am highly disappointed. Since I have no way of knowing which it is, director or interpretor, I will air my grievances in the Character Development section.

There were other characters but none I feel were fleshed out enough for me to truly comment on their performance. I recognize that the film would likely need to be twice as long to viably do the book justice, so I'll stick to the aforementioned performances and move on. Take that as a hint however, Hollywood: if the book is such that it warrants two movies, then give us two movies. Twilight did it. Harry Potter did it. I think The Hunger Games should probably do it. Just my two cents.

Character Development
All right. Let's get down to the nitty gritty, shall we? Character development was a bit of a mess, in my humble opinion. I never felt any chemistry with Katniss and Peeta. Nor with Katniss and Gale, for that matter. The conflicted Katniss never truly emerged. In the book, Peeta won my heart,and I was torn for Katniss, who would at some point have to choose between her best friend, Gale, and the "boy with the bread", Peeta. The movie, however, failed completely to conjure up my compassion for Katniss, as I never sensed her feelings for either boy. Her need to save Peeta was not the result of her internal struggle, her fear of returning to District 12 without him and winding up hated by all. Rather it felt like she was merely wanting to save him because it was the right thing to do. Her hatred of Peeta when she sees him with the Career Tributes failed to take form as well, and that left me feeling unsure of her motives for anything to do with Peeta.

Haymitch, in the book, comes across as bullish, uncaring, selfish, and a complete alcoholic. Totally unlikeable. Not so in the movie. This Haymitch was concerned, helpful, and almost felt like he was trying to be Katniss' new BFF. It will be interesting to see how this character develops in upcoming movies.

Peeta, who professes his love for Katniss during the Tribute Interviews before the Games begin, was completely unconvincing. The charisma so clearly depicted in the book never came across the screen and I found myself barely tolerating him. A complete one-eighty from how I felt for him in the book.

The tracker jacker hallucination scene, when Katniss is yelling at her mom. For viewers who'd not read the book, I'm sure this scene was lost on them. It felt out of place and totally unnecessary.

And finally, Panem's Capital and it's citizens. Collins' vivid descriptions of the people that inhabited the Capitol left me with a mental image of a place so surreal, filled with self-important, self-centered, self-indulgent people whose only purpose in life is to be fashionable and party. These narcissists implanted gems on their bodies, tattooed their faces and surgically altered themselves in extreme ways for fashion, and dressed so outrageously that surely it befit the phrase for which Panem was named, 'Panem et Circenses', a Latin phrase meaning "Bread and Circuses." Hoarding was fashionable, gorging oneself and them regurgitating it all to make room for more gorging, and worst of all, viewing The Hunger Games as pure entertainment, rather than for the brutal punishment it was. This is what made people citizens of Panem.

The movie however, doesn't show you the rainbow hued buildings, or the outlandish fashion customs of the locals. Instead we are only given brief glimpses of a city of gleaming silver, and citizens covered in obnoxious colored costumes and positively garish makeup. These people looked less like the Panem citizens of Collins' book, and more as if they were trying to bring back punk rock in the 80s. I think this was a major fail point for me, however inconsequential to the story line it was, because I feel that with today's technology, Hollywood could have really brought Panem to life on the screen. Instead, what we got felt like a half hearted attempt to bring back Willy Wonka and his Chocolate Factory, minus all the colors and the Oompa Loompas.

Overall
Though from my breakdown you might think I completely disliked the movie, you'd be wrong. I actually enjoyed the move overall. It took separating it as much as possible from the wonderful book I'd just finished reading, and approaching the movie as it's own entity, independent from the book. Once I was able to do that, the movie was somewhat entertaining and it was interesting to see the director's interpretation of such a highly popular novel. While I enjoyed the movie, and am looking forward to seeing the sequels that correspond to the other books in the trilogy, I can't say this is one I'd watch again. At least not any time soon.

And that, dear friends and welcome strangers, concludes my review of The Hunger Games [movie]. Please note that these are just my opinions, and they don't mean much to anyone but me, however I certainly appreciate you stopping in to visit. Feel free to leave a comment with your impression of the Hunger Games, and be sure to include if you've read the book.

Here's to seeing our beloved books on the big screen!


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Valentine's Day Twist

Here we are, another Valentine's Day coming to a close. Single people rejoice, couples either loved it and showered one another with gifts or were indifferent to the oft called "Hallmark" holiday. This is one of those holidays that people love to hate, or they just plain love.

Here's my two cents on it. Like any other holiday, be it Mother's Day, Thanksgiving or even Christmas, Valentine's is just a day set apart to give us another opportunity to let the ones we love know that we love them. In the busyness of every day life, we often overlook the little things that let our partners know how incredibly special they really are, and how much they mean to us. It doesn't have to be about lavishing gifts on one another. In fact, it shouldn't be about that. This is a chance to show your love and appreciation and more oft than not, it's acts of service and kindness that get this message across best. Think about it. At Christmas, what is the thing that makes you and those around you feel the Spirit of Christmas? Is it really the buying and giving of material goods, or is it instead the sharing of time with one another, or reaching out to the less fortunate, giving, without being asked, of yourself?

It is this girl's humble opinion that we are the ones that have turned Valentine's Day into the commercial hot mess it's become. Don't get me wrong, I love getting flowers as much as the next girl, but honestly, I'd sooner have my husband do something unexpected, like cook dinner with me, or surprise me with a picnic in the park (weather permitting, of course). And here's the thing. These acts of kindness, of service, well, they shouldn't be confined to just this one day. Just as we wish each other "the Spirit of Christmas all through the year" so should we take every chance we have to show our loved ones how much they mean to us on a daily basis.

Consider this: If each of us woke up every morning and asked ourselves "What can I do today to make my partner's life a little easier today? What can I do to make him/her feel special and loved today?" wouldn't our relationships and marriages be stronger, have a better chance at survival in a society that is bombarding us with a message of "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY?"

For those that celebrated today, I hope you had a wonderful day filled with love. For you Anti-Valentine's Day folk, I hope it was an awesome Tuesday. And for everyone, I pray a year filled with small tokens of love daily, those things that you look back on and can't help but smile because you are reminded that that special someone gets you. (Stole the "gets you" from my good friend Monica. Hope you don't mind, Mon!)

Here's to the spirit of Love, every day all year long!



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Family and a Funeral

Late last week my uncle Manuel passed away. He was the beloved husband of my aunt Martha, one of my mom's younger sisters. Devastated for my aunt and cousins, my husband and I flew to Chicago to lend some comfort and support during what had to be a terrible time for them. We were joined in Chicago by three of my cousins, the daughters of another of my mom's sisters. These precious cousins of mine, whom I lovingly refer to as the Sisters Trevi, knew first hand what my Chicago cousins were feeling, as they had lost their mom to cancer in early 2008. Like a warm, soft blanket on a chilly day, we enveloped our Chicago family and poured out our love and prayers on them.

As is the norm when family gathers, the stories of times long past began. My grieving aunt put her own pain aside to share with us stories of her sisters, our moms and aunts, that we'd never heard, and that, for me at least, gave me a whole new, deep respect and awe for the incredible woman I call mom. She told us of how she fell in love and married Manuel. Of not knowing how to cook or iron men's pants when newly married and having to be taught these things by our uncle. She spoke of a time when family meant everything. We laughed, we cried, we laughed some more. We perused old photos, admiring the fashion styles and big beehive hair our moms and aunt sported. We got to know my uncle in a way we didn't know him in life. We laughed, we cried, we laughed some more.

Family and friends came and went over the next few days, some unable to stay for the wake and funeral, others able to stay only long enough to pay their final respects. Each person brought with them a sense of comfort for my aunt and cousins, and I know the family was grateful for them all.

My uncle was buried on a beautifully sunny, unseasonably warm day. God blessed him on the day we said goodbye as much as He'd blessed him all his life. And as my aunt placed white roses on his marker, the family stood strongly around her, and her sisters stood on either side of her, a hand on her arm. These sisters, my mom and aunt, share a bond forged by love stronger than anything I've known. They are pillars of strength, bound together with an enduring love and respect for one another. I see much of who they are in all of their children, and I am grateful to call them all my family.

It is heartbreaking that there comes a time in our lives when the only time we reach out to one another is during times of hardship. Family are those we should surround ourselves with during the good times, as well as the bad. We should make an effort to see one another, not just at weddings and funerals, but whenever God blesses us with a chance to do so. After all, we are very much our families, as our families are us.

My uncle, may he rest in peace, lived a BIG life. He touched many lives and instilled in his own family a moral code and work ethic that is hard to find these days. He loved my aunt passionately, gently, without reservation. He gave the gift of life, donating his liver that another might have a new chance at life. He committed himself to his family and community, and left each for the better. He will be missed. But we all will find comfort in the knowledge that he will live on in the love, talents, and goodwill of his wife, children, and grandchildren.

Funerals are a time of deep sorrow and personal reflection. But this particular funeral, for me, has been a reminder that life is short. A reminder to hold fast to those I love, and to cherish every moment I share with them. I really must remember to tell them how much I love them, and to do it way more often than I have before.

Here's to the ones we love!


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